Golden Flickers
by jadedly
Summary: At first, there is only the aftermath. Nothing is quite what Homura expects it to be. And perhaps she can still change part of the outcome, even if it's a small one.


A/N: So this is pretty strictly anime-canon, considering Homura only uses one ribbon as a headband in the anime, whereas in the manga she ties her hair in ponytails. Also, I claim creative license with this. Madoka and Sayaka got a scene! /smacked

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><p>"Akemi-san?"<p>

In those moments, the few minutes or hours or perhaps a day passing, there is only the aftermath. Madoka's wish is rearranging the universe, the Incubator says. Homura supposes something must happen in the meantime.

"Kaname-san just left. I'm afraid you've missed her."

This confuses her. She has just seen Madoka, just said those final goodbyes that she wished weren't so final. No one should know of Madoka Kaname. The ribbons in her hand are all that remains of her best friend, and so...

She stands and wipes the last of her tears, then turns, the same cold demeanor she has tried to uphold for so long returning. "Tomoe-san. You remember her?"

Mami has a small smile on her face, and despite her calm and cheery appearance, Homura sees signs of tears near her golden eyes. "I'm sure I won't for much longer, but for the time being...yes, I do." She sips her tea but quickly shakes her head, smiling at Homura. "Ah, how rude of me. Would you care for some tea, Akemi-san?"

A lifetime's worth of memories she truly shouldn't have play in sequence in her mind; Mami had been her friend, too, those months ago when she was such a fool. It is with difficulty she manages to sit down and accept without cracking. The loss of Madoka Kaname is far too fresh, and this Mami Tomoe will soon be forgotten, too. She clenches Madoka's ribbons in her fist and nods, and she is sure her posture does not shake, but there is a knowing look on the older Puella Magi's face as she pours tea into a small cup.

Homura accepts it, and there is silence. Mami sips at her own cup a few more times before she puts it down on the dish, the little 'clink' sounding terribly loud in the quiet.

"Akemi-san...will you be alright?"

The question surprises Homura, and she is more surprised still when she feels yet another tear slip from her eyes. Mami appears concerned, but even so, Homura knows she has little time left to sit and talk to her.

Madoka is reshaping the universe.

And that is all that is left.

"I...don't know," Homura admits honestly, as she too sets her cup down on the table in front of them. Slowly, she puts Madoka's ribbons there, as well. "These are all that's left of her. I..."

"Ah." The knowing look returns to Mami's face, and she sighs. "You're worried that you'll forget her too, correct?"

Homura does not answer, nor does she need to.

"Her last words to me were _"Maybe you'll remember me after all."_ She meant everything to me. What will I do, if I forget her? After I'm the cause of all of this to begin with...? How can I live with myself if I forget the one person who meant so much to me, who's saving us all as we speak?"

Mami, remarkably, doesn't miss a beat, and her voice is almost, but not quite, fierce when she responds. "Akemi-san, you're looking at it in the entirely wrong way." Homura's head shoots up, and she hastily tries to wipe her tears, but Mami is crying as well. And that same soft smile is still on her face, that same sad look in her eyes, the same loneliness apparent even as she tries to comfort someone else. This Mami Tomoe has only the experience of one timeline, but she has lost herself along with her only friends, and she is still alone, Homura realizes.

"You shouldn't worry about forgetting her, Akemi-san. She's become hope all her own. Even if you can't remember her name...the concept of hope will always equate to Kaname-san. None of us will remember the time we shared with her; perhaps you will, and for that, you're very lucky. But even if you don't, I'm sure she won't hold it against you, because you'll still remember that there is always hope."

Homura stares at her, and her expression changes rapidly, cycling through many emotions. "You...how could you ever understand?" she whispers, staring and staring. "You don't know what I went through. All for the sake of saving her - and in the end, I may as well have killed her...! How could you understand?"

Mami laughs and wipes her tears. "You misunderstand me. I'm not saying I know what's happened to you...after all, weren't we enemies for a bit, there? But you did try to save me, though I didn't listen. And so I'm returning a favor by trying to reassure you. However..." She sighs again and closes her eyes, then stretches her arm out, offering a hand to Homura.

"You didn't kill her, Akemi-san. She made this choice for the sake of all Puella Magi, and if her wish was truly granted, she should know everything. I wouldn't be surprised if she was watching us right now. And what I know for sure...I've never been certain of everything, I've always doubted my own wish, my own feelings. But what I know for sure is that if she were here, she wouldn't let you say that you killed her. You've been trying to save her, right? There's not even a possibility that she would let you get away with these remarks."

Silence falls, and Homura fights for these few moments to gain control of her emotions. The pain swirling in her from the parting with Madoka is fiercer than Mami's voice is, the guilt gripping her far too tightly - but she knows, despite how she feels that Madoka would never truly forgive her for being unable to save her, that Mami is right. And the sigh that comes from Mami's side of the table is so weary and full of such sadness that Homura nearly loses the control she is fighting to build.

"Akemi-san, you're going to have to leave soon. I'm sure I'll see you again, though I certainly won't remember any of this." Slowly, she begins to drop her arm, but -

"Wait." Homura's voice is clear now, and she's stopped crying, thankfully. She looks up and chooses her words carefully, then picks up one of the pink ribbons. The material slips through her fingers, fingers that are close to shaking, but she catches Mami's hand and lays it there, pulling her hand away quickly. "Maybe you'll forget, but you should...you should be given a chance to remember, too."

The picture of Mami's apartment around them shimmers slightly, flickers of gray disturbing the soft lighting. Mami herself smiles and brings the ribbon close to her chest, staring down at it with the sad fondness one might see when a sibling looks at a photo of a lost brother or sister. "Thank you, Akemi-san." She closes her eyes, her fingers tightening around the ribbon. "You really should go now. If you don't, you'll find yourself forcibly dumped, I'm afraid."

"Homura," she says softly, standing up. "Call me Homura."

Mami's smile grows, just a bit. "Alright. Goodbye, Homura. I hope that if I see you again, we can become friends."

And just like that, the flickering apartment and its lonely inhabitant vanish all at once.

It feels something like falling. She lands at the train station where Sayaka Miki's witch form is - or was, rather, as she takes note of Kyoko standing with her head bowed, clutching her spear tightly. Homura looks down at the single ribbon in her hand and nearly chokes.

"Madoka..."

Kyoko glances up, turning just a little, and stares at Homura almost sullenly. "Who's that?" Her voice is harsh, nothing like Mami's soft smiles and gentle comforting reassurances, but that's only to be expected if Sayaka is still dead. There's a soft noise from a few feet away, and both Kyoko and Homura turn to see Mami Tomoe, the other silky pink ribbon in her hand.

"I feel like I might...I might know her, too," Mami says softly, and she locks eyes with Homura.

"Madoka Kaname, right, Homura?"

Homura tries desperately not to start crying again as she cracks a bitter smile in response. "That's right."


End file.
